THE GODDESS

Who would have guessed, here i go again, demanding for so much more than what is due to me, grabeh I’m so emotionally stirred. sobrang naprapraning nko sa mga nanyayari. hay nku it’s kinda hard to explain kc i cant go into details pero basta i cant help but to ponder and wonder and ponder once more. I’m so envious when i shouldnt have. Im so inlove which i shouldnt be and im so confused but is so aware! basta magulo tlaga. sometimes i just wanna cry for the simpliest things and then super elated naman ako after. and after i numb. sus sobrang retrograde na yta ang mga stars and even ang mga hormones ko sa utak! basta i just have to weather it out!

I went out with a friend who was notorious to do something kindda morally questionable. as the night went on, i figured it was gonna go as any other night would,,,, how can i be so wrong????after she got out of the comfort room, she secretly handed me an envelope eith money inside it, i asked her what was that all about and she told me somebody left it. then i found out that that envelpoe belonged to one of the waitresses of that bar we went to. I went ot that waitress and offered to give alms to her misfurtune just to give rid of my own guilt> i was so powerless to take control of the situation that  even some of the people there thought what i did was so noble!!! im such a fraud  and i’m so ashamed of what had happened!. My friend treated it as such a "dog eats dog situation" i think of it as bigotry on modern world! I FEEL SO MUCH FOR THE WAITRESSS< but as sinfull as i am, i just dont know how to act and how to feel about the whole situation! i just wish aND PRAY that she receives all the blessing that i get even if it means i have to sacrifice things just to alliviate the guilt that i have! and for the first time in my life i mean it.

Im doing things wrong, With my pursue of self, i’m alienating my friends<<<

Now im seriously doubting this formation i have? The risk of finding my self and

losing my friends is just to much to handle. plus I wanna know someone i just

dont know how to approach him, this revolution is proving to be quite a

juggernaut task. Wish there is a guide for me??? Wish HE would be my guide>