THE GODDESS

Not every one knows that i have a boyfriend,
mostly cause i feel like im already fulfilled that there’s no reason
for me to tell the whole world about my wonderful love.

Everything
was alright, eventhough we do share times of trouble, misunderstanding
and petty quarrels, our love and commitment surpasses them all.

i thought we develop great communication that nothing can come between us, i was wrong.

Because as i am writing this, I am starting to get filled with emotions
of longing, sadness, regret and disenchantment. My baby butchok asked
me to give him space and he’s letting me free from this relationship.

Butchok
has been diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, He has the inaattentive type of
ADHD, the type that is not hyperactive but nevertheless he has problems
concentrating on things. I have personal experience of his condition
coz sometimes so goes silent and he cant think of anything to say. (He
did this, while we were talking. he’s proud of the heart shape of us
and above us )

Despite
everything, Butchok never failed to make me feel special, he never
failed to show me how much he loves me. He’s the only one who made me
secure in so many things. He gave me the stabilty and comfort that
everyone failed to give. Never in my life have i felt so secure that i
dont worry that im gonna lose them to some hot girl that they would
meet.

But i did lose him, i lost him againts depression, coz you
see, aside from having difficulty concentrating, ADHD people tends to
have depressive moods and sometimes school, work and people around them
aggrevates this condition.

My baby became the happiest  when he
meet me. Our love give him something that no therapy nor medicine can
give. But sad to say, He’s losing his battle againts depression.
Pressure and stress from his family and friends makes him think that
there’s no hope for him andhis causins skepticism againts our
relationship has made him cynical about his role in our relationship.

My
baby started isolating myself againts his family and friends and this
made him think he’s unworthy of a person and he believed his depressive
thinking and he decided that he’s not worthy for me. He isolated
himself againts me and wants me to free me from suffering because of
his distraught  self.

My baby’s suffering and he doesnt deserve to and the fucking thing about the whole of this,

I cant help him and i cant be there for him.

I dont pray but for my baby to get better i would like to start learning.

Why does my baby have to suffer?