THE GODDESS

Mr. Big of Carrie in Sex and the City is a succesful and sexy man, A great guy and a real charmer at that but underneath all that success is a scared, commitment phobic man. Who, just like every american guy that is so comfortable in single life. He is emotionally mute which drives the confident carrie insane at times.

I completely understand it now because i have my share of Mr. Big. Someone would think that I man so amazing wouldnt have a problem getting anyone he wants, but it turned out, most great guys are afraid of failed relationships and overtime, these failed relationships cripple their need to completely be intimate with someone. Eventhough their need to connect is unwavering, the thought of losing that love is more dreadful than the longing feel to be in love so they would just not RISK it.
“When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there’s no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?” ~Sex and the City.~

You once said that i shouldnt be feeling and thinking the way that i am feeling and thinking untill we actually meet. But now that we do have the chance to meet? why are you slipping away from me? ~CLIOGODDESS~

My dream MIGHT come true soon. I know i’ve waited all my life for this but i cant be help but feel scared.

Scared of the unknown.

My friends asks me, What is there to be scared of? and i really dont have a ready answer for that but one thing im sure of, Uncertainty makes my heart beat faster.

and
little worries make it even harder for me to think about this event?
what will i do? what will i wear? what stuff to talk about?.

I
dont know, Im such a mess right now coz i never really had someone
special in my life and i want this to be perfect and memorable. The
kind of memory that you wouldnt get tired of reminiscing and the kind
of memory that would make you smile eventhough things are getting worse.

People tell me not to worry to much, not to pay attention to this but how can i ignore something BIG like
this, I never really felt special in life even though there are people
out there who would say anything just to get kinky with me but nothing
like this.

I wanna be with him but still im scared that everything is not TRUE. I thought im a cosmowoman who can just be intimate and forget about it but i know i cant.

Im
scared that this will make me love him but then he’d realize im not the
ONE and that he would rather spend his time with someone else and leave
me.

He always tell that i have so much goin on in my life but
truth is, i dont wanna spend it jumping from one man to the other. I
just one thing and hopefully one man.

I know it’s to early to say that i love him and to settle to the idea
that HE is the ONE. but one thing i do know. Im not playing and hope he
is not too.